Recently on “Wait, So is this a night out together?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle CEO and

L Keyword

specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That’s right! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with pals’ exes, buddies starting up with your exes, additionally the tradition created by everything drama.

Come for your news, stay for emotional running. And before that enjoy a casino game that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking will never.)

Thanks a lot for the great comments after our premier! If you haven’t however consider providing us with a rating or examine!

SHOW NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of my passions.

+ Listed Here Is
the essay
I reference in which We mention hooking up using my roommates.

+ My personal crush on the few days Mj Rodriguez introduced a songs video on her song
“one thing to Say”
!

+ As someone who has merely seen a few symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush in the few days C.C. Babcock had been shocking in my opinion when it proved she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina informs me they fundamentally nonetheless are.)

---

Drew:

I would personally end up being extremely good with-it current. I might never ever include another person without their own permission. But the thought of everytime some body ended up being like, “concur that you’re connected to me,” I would resemble, “Yeah, this is the life I stayed. Really don’t mind.” Would be that strange? Is that problems?

Christina:

No, since if I wasn’t, i might feel bad not-being. I would personally resemble, “hold off, I’m not lying?”

Theme tune plays

Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And thanks for visiting

Wait, So Is This A Romantic Date?

Christina:


Wait, So Is This A Romantic Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the top concerns. To begin with, could it possibly be a romantic date? What exactly are dates? That are dates? Do we like dates? These are the variety of concerns that we address on this subject right here incredibly pro and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I am Christina Tucker. I am in addition an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the web. I’m improving at describing me as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. Which is us. That is exactly who we’re.

Drew:

Yeah. And all of our main topic this week is The Chart.

Christina:

I simply thought it required a sting. I don’t know. That thought really remarkable, but I think it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thank you so much, thank you. No, no, no. The most effective quantity of crisis.

Christina:

Thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

Everyone loves that phrase as it seems like you will need to restart the lesbians. It may sound such as the net connection isn’t really operating.

Drew:

Yes. It’s very advanced level, really futuristic, and has existed since there is lesbians, In my opinion.

Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars would say as soon as they found the first lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside of these carved into the mud. And that I think that’s what that film means, proper? It’s about the chart? That flick with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cave women. I’d enjoy that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Well, when I haven’t observed it, i will courageously claim that it was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve got numerous lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never ever eliminated straight back that much. And I also believe it’s time we carry out.

Christina:

Let us simply hold taking it furthermore back in its history.

Drew:

Before we obtain to your primary subject, you’re nonetheless observing all of us. And I thought that it will be fun to experience a casino game in which you men could actually learn Christina. Thus all of our icebreaker for this week is slightly game that I call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

Im, once more, therefore stressed about this. This may you need to be the way in which i-come in to the online game. This might be my personal video game mentality, slightly high key, a tiny bit stressed. That is fine. We’re all reading.

Drew:

In my opinion which is fantastic. I do believe that can move you to more vulnerable, possibly.

Christina:

Certainly one of my favorite emotions.

Drew:

Merely a horror, simply a serious terror. Therefore the manner in which “Would U-Haul” really works is i’ll describe a scenario. Let’s call-it Christina fan fiction. And I also’m gonna pause after each and every little section getting like, “Okay, Christina, i understand which you have never lived with somebody, do not want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will possibly say yes or we’ll state, “i am all set.”

Drew:

If you do not — well, we’re going to see right here. But I’m thrilled. I believe i have perhaps cracked the code.

Christina:

You have cracked the signal? I am excited.

Drew:

Let’s observe long this requires. Just in case you never carry out, In my opinion you win? I’m not sure exactly how discover winners right here.

Christina:

I’m not sure that there exists champions within the video game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I am not sure in the event that you’ll agree with that next. And so I’m getting going.

Christina:

Fair adequate.

Drew:

Okay. So, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the friend’s wedding ceremony. In spite of the large number of romcoms you’ve soaked up, you did perhaps not visit this wedding considering you had satisfy any individual because, well, this is simply not a romcom. Here is the actual and normal life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your assigned chair and are glancing at the cellphone whenever you realize a woman at the table is wanting at you. She presents herself since your pal’s previous baby sitter. She’s stayed a pal associated with the family members, but she doesn’t truly know any individual there. She appears to be mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You set about talking. She offers to produce a drink. Once she compares, you understand she’s six foot large, 6′ 3″ in heels. You know very well what? I’m only browsing hold on there and get like, at this stage, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am fascinated. I’m captivated because i would get put at this wedding. But up until now I am not U-Hauling anyplace.

Drew:

Cool. That is entirely fair. Entirely reasonable. Okay. Which means you spend the entire wedding learning the other person. There’s simply an immediate spark and instant biochemistry. And indeed, you are doing hook up plus the intercourse is actually incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And so this marriage was at Northern Ca. And so you both increase your stays for three times to screw and check out and consume at restaurants and fuck. And you provide to split the cost of the today joint room, but she laughs you off and is similar, “clearly not, honey.” Therefore, the subsequent three days tend to be magic. You are feeling your own walls tumbling straight down. You’re falling quicker than you ever have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Very simply for quality’s benefit, I’m having trouble picturing a world for which I took three surprise days off of strive to hang out with a person i actually do perhaps not know. That looks bonkers. However, if I did, good for me. But i am not U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s good. You simply met. I have it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you so much.

Drew:

So she returns to New York and also you come back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That’s where I reside.

Drew:

And you’re texting on a regular basis. This is where you live as well as being in which this girl resides. And you’re texting constantly therefore see both multiple times per month. She actually is really hectic together with her task, but she is fast to buy you a train ticket so you’re able to appear see their and stay at her gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. And then six months go. Plus one evening when you are out over meal, she asks one to move around in along with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And proceed to Nyc? I don’t love ny. No, I am not transferring on 6 months tag. I am not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, completely, totally. Wow. Okay. So you keep matchmaking long distance. She realizes that you want some time and she actually is happy to anticipate you. Even more several months move. It is today been over annually. Your property manager informs you that they are offering your house to a developer that is setting up condos, you can’t renew it. You will need to find a destination. Your now girl informs you that no pressure, but her provide however stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this point, i’d U-Haul for a couple of explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Fine. Kindly inform us.

Christina:

Mostly, in a global by which my personal landlord sold my house to improve it, my personal property manager is currently my personal best friend, making sure that appears like some thing has gone completely wrong in our friendship. And I also must merely keep Philadelphia anyhow. Of course, if I have to maneuver in with my girlfriend over here, that appears great. That’s fine. Completely okay. But yeah, In my opinion I might need an external power like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That is very — ok. Used to do think that might want to need casing getting here, so I’m happy We understood that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s what needs to accidentally myself initially.

Drew:

Really, I’m grateful to know what it’s going to take. Very in theory, if you weren’t knocked away, simply how much more hours?

Christina:

Frankly, might have gone on for quite some time. Philly and nyc commonly also that far from one another. I obtained space over right here. We’re moving forward and backward. We are having happy times. I possibly could have allow that roll for a long time until i assume Shoshana can become the worst person i am aware.

Drew:

I didn’t know Shoshana had home. Really, there you choose to go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.

Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, are obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m pleased that i understand… perhaps if you are ever before, anytime anybody’s ever internet dating you and wishes you to definitely relocate, maybe your sweetheart informed Shoshana to offer your house in the interest of your own relationship.

Christina:

Honestly the quickest means — some one would simply have to speak with Shoshana and get like, “only kick this lady out.” Right after which she’d be like, “Yeah, positive. Of course.” That could be how it happened, although she failed to promote the house. Somebody would you should be like, “are you able to merely kick her away therefore she will merely get over it and relocate with me?” And she would say yes. One hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That’s what relationship is actually.

Drew:

I favor that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is truly beautiful.

Drew:

Really, I believe like we learned loads about yourself.

Christina:

Thanks. I’m like We discovered plenty about me, too. Threat of homelessness is truly the point that keeps me moving in any scenario, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that is fantastic.

Christina:

That has been actually fascinating. I am just as delighted to maneuver into all of our main sector because I think dealing with lesbian connectivity with this particular guest, because of this unique guest, I think it will be incredible, Drew. Exactly how have you been feeling?

Drew:

I am thus thrilled. This will be specialized. And also by that, What i’m saying is an

L Word

expert, but additionally some a specialist inside subject at hand.

Christina:

I do believe a few things tends to be real, my friend. I do believe two things tends to be correct certainly. Can we would you like to present the guest or will we want our very own visitor introducing themselves?

Drew:

I would love all of our visitor introducing herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I am going to claim that all of our guest could be the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s also unusual are the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, it really is.

Riese:

I had to not state such a thing. I didn’t actually do it. Used to do say circumstances. I’d to sit down here quietly.

Christina:

Therefore happened to be truly fearless. And your faces happened to be appreciated.

Riese:

Many thanks a great deal.

Christina:

Though this is demonstrably a sound method, I want all of our audience to find out that Riese was creating some very nice response faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There’s many ways become heard. You-know-what i am talking about? That’s what i say. I will be the President of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is myself. I’ve a puppy called Carol. And that I have dated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats on the kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I’ve been a part of men and women.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. That’s fantastic to create to the, this here dating podcast. Which is excellent.

Riese:

Yeah. I think that… can there be other things?

Drew:

No, I think that is fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you decide and should discuss.

Riese:

I really like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You know when someone goes like…

Drew:

It’s like when you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be gross, and so I just exhausted all of them from my brain.

Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I immediately considered you with this subject.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because to start with, demonstrably, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian area happen like, I don’t know, having sex with individuals just who people they know had gender with since long before

The L Term

was actually ever before a set. But i really do feel just like

The L Word

solidified a particular cultural idea of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you might have some insight into this topic.

Riese:

It really is genuine. Two of the article writers, i do want to state, of

The L Term

had this real data ones in addition to their buddies they were attracting on wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, was actually one of those. She spoke to all of us about this, they had built this. Because certainly, everyone else where journalist’s place had banged others when you look at the writer — you know, additionally the lengthy internet of that generation of lesbians in L. A.. And in addition they watched can these were like, “Why don’t we place it inside the program.” And a few of these take the information. Like, some of the people whom … like, real individuals are on chart as a tale.

Christina:

Which is incredible. That’s the way you learn you have made it.

Riese:

Is not that lovely?

Christina:

That might be fascinating in my situation.

Riese:

And so for those who haven’t seen

The L Keyword,

to begin with, congrats. Secondly, it gets the centerpiece of a single of one’s direct fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has it all over the woman wall structure. Plus it could be the name of web site which they started called ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the idea … and it’s really within the pilot, i believe. Inside 1st occurrence, Alice starts talking about exactly how everyone’s linked, because every person’s hooked up because of this person. And I can hook up you, as if you’re probably a maximum of two levels from myself. Hence had been correct. Like, even with Dana, that has very restricted knowledge because she was a closeted playing tennis user, they nonetheless had the ability to hook up this lady. And that’s real world because it’s real.

Christina:

That’s tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition looks like.

Riese:

That is tradition. That’s queer society immediately. And today every person helps make unique charts.

Christina:

Yeah. So would be my subsequent question, was have actually either people made a chart? Because I do not imagine i’ve, and I am sorts of today thinking like, that was this just last year resting at my home for basically did not make a chart? Like, what was the point of that, actually?

Riese:

I believe I completed it in my own diary, just like like … Because i love, I’m not sure, organizing info, i suppose, as an idea exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i believe which is in addition exactly why i will be astonished that We haven’t accomplished it. I prefer the idea of categorizing things.

Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I’m not sure precisely why it’s so interesting, however it is. Its fascinating to be love, wow, many of these individuals, they’re connected. It really is crazy.

Drew:

From the tv show, when ourchart.com is actually invented, they usually have an actual information that folks can add on stuff. And I feel like something that you joked when it comes to on

To L and Straight Back,

and now individuals say continuously is similar to, if this existed in a real method, no one would place their own brands about it, no one would feel at ease placing their labels upon it.

Riese:

You’d.

Drew:

I would. I would personally be very great with-it current. I might never ever add some other person without their unique permission. Nevertheless the thought of similar, every time some one had been like, “make sure you might be connected to myself,” I’d be like, “Yeah, it is the life I stayed. I do not worry about.” Is that weird? Is that problematic?

Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel bad not-being … i might be like, “Wait, I’m not about it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that could in fact deliver me into a light ethical anxiety about whom Im as one, the thing I’m undertaking. Are we interesting? Carry out folks {like
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